Why do I do this to myself?

**{Spoiler Alert: If anyone out there reading this has never seen THE BEST epic mini-series of all time and is interested in doing so...DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER...I'd hate to be the one to prematurely open up your tear ducts!}**

A couple of times a year, one of the cable TV stations will air one of my all time favorite movies... "Lonesome Dove".

And I watch it...every time. And I DVR it, every time. And I watch it and pause it and watch and pause again. I can't stop myself!

And I cry...NO, SOB...every time!

Why do I do this to myself???

Well, today I found myself right back in that place that I love and hate all at the same time. That place on my couch that was made just for me. With my giant glass of water, my three (I think it was three, I could have lost count) bite-size dark chocolates, and my two baskets full of laundry, I fell into a hypnotic state and headed north to Montana, drivin' cattle, with the cowboys from Lonesome Dove, TX.

I've seen it so many times now that I can pretty much hold it together when the Irish kid gets bit by the water moccasins and I tear up pretty bad when Gus rescues "Lorie Darlin'" from the Indian camp, but from the time Deets dies to, well, when the final credits roll, I am a basket case...a blubbering mess! When Call promises to take Gus back to Lonesome Dove, I'm done...I can't even see the next hour through all the tears!

Oh Gus...I won't even get started on Augustus McCrae...I tried to name each one of our boys Gus, but obviously their father is not in love with the feisty Texas Ranger as much as I am! It about rips my heart out when Gus won't let Call and the doctor cut his leg off.

I don't know why I put myself through it...it's kind of like my very own cinematic Bermuda triangle. I get completely sucked in and I can't get out!

So much about it touches my heart...the adventure, the loyalty, the good versus evil, the love, the cowboys,...oh I could go on and on.

I'm not sure why I enjoy inflicting pain upon myself, but I do...I just LOVE that movie.



{NOTE: No children were neglected during the watching of LD or during the blogging about the feelings toward LD...Tytus was unloading hay with Brock and the younger two were napping and happily playing and making messes that "I can't think about today, I'll think about that tomorrow." (my favorite movies are on my brain!)}